The Lord of the Onion Rings - The Preservation of the Onion Ring
by TheBooksofEli
Summary: Rigby battles the fateful power of the Onion Ring, sworn to return to the pits of Mt. Ngauruhoe (the actual Mt. Doom). He shares his quest with Eileen and 2 from the Bunch of Baby Ducks, along with the charismatic Skips, Mordecai, Muscle Man, Benson and Thomas. The gang quarrels with Techmo, corrupted (and no, no giant eagles in this series!), and others (of his) to come.


**DISCLAIMER**

**I don't own the LOTR - it's just fun to write about. But you probably already knew that.**

If you can read this, you don't need corrective lenses.

**Character** **Roles (in order of appearance):**

**Audrey **portrayed as **Lady Galadriel**

**Death **portrayed as **Sauron**

**Garrett Bobby Ferguson **portrayed as **Isildur**

**Doug Shablowski** portrayed as **Smeagol/Gollum**

**Don **portrayed as **Bilbo Baggins**

**Rigby** portrayed as **Frodo Baggins**

**Skips **portrayed as **Gandalf the Grey**

**Eileen **portrayed as **Sam** **(****Samwise Gamgee)**

**1st Baby Duck (1) **portrayed as** Merry (Meriadoc Brandybuck)**

**2nd Baby Duck (2) **portrayed as **Pippin (Peregrin Took****)****  
**

**The Capicola Gang **portrayed as **The Nazgûl/The Ringwraiths**

**Techmo **portrayed as **Saruman**

**Mordecai **portrayed as **Aragorn**

**Margaret **portrayed as **Arwen**

**Frank Smith **portrayed as** Elrond**

**Thomas **portrayed as** Legolas**

**Muscle Man **portrayed as** Gimli**

**Hi Five Ghost **portrayed as** Boromir**

**Benson **portrayed as **Lord Celeborn**

* * *

**Introduction**

**Audrey's POV:**

_Nellamar prestaignli._

"The world has changed."

_Hammagnov tlehpp ven._

"I feel it in the water."

_Hammagnov tlehpp hiedn._

"I feel it in the earth"

_Hammagstnof tle ghleim._

"I smell it in the air."

Taste that once was, is lost. For none now live, who remember it.

It began with the creation of the perfect onion rings. 3 were given to the Cloud People; immortal, wisest, and fairest in food criticism. 7, to the Sorreinstein Family, great truckers and cravers of all foods. And 9, 9 onion rings were given to everyone else for grabs, whom above all, knew the quality of taste the best of all. For within these fried delicacies was bound the exquisiteness and flavor to settle disputes of different kinds - but they were all of them, out-fried - for another onion ring was made.

In the land of New Zealand, in the fires of Mt. Ngauruhoe, the deathly Death fried, in secret, a masterpiece, with a secret recipe to outmatch all others. To this onion ring, he poured into his 3 most important ingredients, hatred, conspiration, and pride over the dominace of all souls. One Onion Ring to disprove them all.

One by one, the people of earth fell to the powerful flavor of the Onion Ring; but there were some who challenged the delicacy. An alliance was made between the race of men and cloud people who fought against Death's demons. On the slopes of Mt. Ngauruhoe, they fought for the end of Death's corruption. Victory was all but at hand, but the sensational taste of the ring could not be duplicated. It was in this cook-off where hope was fading from the freedom cookers, and Garret Bobby Ferguson, son of some old guy, I must have forgotten who - but that doesn't matter - anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Garrett Bobby Ferguson, son of some old guy, took up his father's tongs and stole the Onion Ring, rendering Death hopeless of success and as a result - defeated.

But the stomachs of men, are easily persuaded... Consumed by the power of the Onion Ring, Garrett Bobby Ferguson hid the Onion Ring from the world somewhere in California, and disappeared for an undisclosed amount of time; and the perfect recipie that shouldn't have been lost, disappeared in time.

Until, it ensnared a new customer. For a total of 23 years, the onion ring tantalized Doug Shablowski's mind, but day after day, it called to its maker - it abandoned Doug.

But then, out of the blue, an unusual creature found it - a raccoon named Don.

And...that's pretty much all you need to know for this story, so...let's wrap this up.

* * *

**Chapter 1 - A Long Expected Arrival**

It began on a typical day in the typical park. Rigby layer down alone on the cold mildew of the grass, whittling away the time in an unwavering stare at the clouds, almost compelling him to kiss the sky. The stars shone as bright as the visible moon, already at noonday! God forbid the rain fall! And yet he laid there for a long-awaited guest of the park, Skips, to return to the park. Minutes later, the slow turning and spinning of the old wheels of the cart came strolling along the dirt road. The old yeti sung a soft tune to himself along the way. At last, Rigby got up on his feet and found the elder he was looking for.

"You're late." Rigby demanded attention from the preoccupied yeti in the vintage golf cart.

"I'm never late, Rigby. Or early. I arrive _precisely _when I mean to." He responded with a slight curve in his composure. A grin on his face got more and more noticeable. Rigby too joined in on Skips' growing chuckle, the thought of reuniting for the first time after long months of waiting for Skips to return from his meeting in the sky with the Guardians of Eternal Youth.

"Oh, it's nice to see you again, Skips!" Rigby leapt into the passenger's seat that Skips made quite obvious it was vacant.

"You didn't think I'd miss Don's birthday, did you?"

"Well, you know, he has his ups - parties are one. Half the city's been invited - and the rest, show up anyway!" Rigby managed to acquire some truth about his brother out of his hard head.

"So what's been going on up there with the big guys? Tell me **all **about it!"

"All about it?" Skips was actually puzzled at his interest in his affairs.

"You know, before you left, we groundskeepers didn't go or do anything unordinary, no misadventures, no fun."

"If you're referring to that incident with Benson going off on that tangent, I was barely involved. All I did was give him a little unease."

"Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled "a disturber of his peace"." Rigby told him in with a smug grin.


End file.
